As the Mist settles...

Have you ever botteled up your feelings and tried to keep them secret from the rest of the world, and maybe even yourself? Do you ever have times in your life where you feel so desprate that you can't keep it in any longer? That's what I've been dealing with over the last few months. 17 years worth of problems and imperfection that I *finally* stopped ignoring and decided to face it head-on. Only to find myself falling head-first to the hard ground of realization.

Yet at the same time that I wanted to stop myself from falling, I realized that I needed to hit rock-bottom before I could start climbing up again. It's a scary thing to have all of your life suddenly flashed in front of your face. You see all of your weaknesses and failures all at once, and nothing can stop the regret from lashing out at you at slapping you over and over again till you're numb with pain.

But even so, as the mist settles and starts to clear, I can see over the horizon and I know that I'm changing and growing. Even though I *just* fell, my Awesome Father is already helping to start the climb back up. It's so awesome to know that He's there to help, and no matter how hard it is to see through the fog or even though it may hurt so much, He's right there through all of it, and I can rest in His promise that He'll "work all things out for the good of those who love Him." :)


"And You said,
'I know that this will hurt,
But if I don't break your heart
Things will just get worse!
When the burden seems too much to bear
Remember,
The end will justify
The pain it took to get us there!'"



<>< Christi <><